Sleeping On The Hard Wood Floor
by Blood Crayon
Summary: Hiro took my head and placed it up against his neck trying to comfort me. I writhed and pushed him away. By now I was sobbing. I clawed madly at myself, at anything that was near me. The bus pulled over. I banged my fists over and over again on the walls.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation.

The vase smashed up against the wall. It was inches away from my face and I winced when I felt some of the glass hit my skin. I could feel tiny rivers of flowing down my face. I saw Yukis menacing figure stalk across he den until he was standing right in front of me. I slid down the wall and collapsed down the wall. The glass was in my skin now. Yuki grabbed my throat. This was not at all uncommon. Yuki was stressed and he loved me. He needed a relief for his stress and as his lover I knew it was responsibility.

"You're sleeping in my room tonight." He hissed and dropped me.

I wrapped me arms around my body. It was so cold. Yuki wanted me in his room in an hour and I knew that I would be there. Sex used to be a blissful communion for us. I was feel so loved. I would wonder about marrying him and if it was even possible for me to love someone that much. The next morning he would be gone and I would remember who I was.

I walked over the couch and pulled a blanket over me. I wrapped it over my face so I was breathing through the fleece. I could see the blood smeared on the blanket. I rocked slowly back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. I could hear Yuki typing in the next room. I rocked back and forth in rhythm to his typing. Soon I heard the door to his office open and he took the steps to his bedroom.

Our bedroom. It always changed. Sometimes I needed so badly to be comforted and I would try and sneak in to his bed. Sometimes he noticed right away and other times it took longer. Every time though when he found me there he would toss me out of the room. He would throw the blanket I brought with me afterwards. Last time he threw the framed photograph of us on a date. The wood frame hit me in the forehead. The glass shattered on the ground. The picture delicately floated to the ground.

I slept on the glass, the blood, and the picture that night.

I picked myself off the couch and walked down the hallway. With my first step I wiped the blood off my cheek. Then I dropped the blanket. I opened the door to the room and walked inside. Yuki was already undressed. I turned away from him as I pulled off my shirt. I had never had a problem before, but lately my own body repulsed me. I crawled in to bed next to him. He put his hand on my cheek and I rolled over to face away from him. He wrapped his arms around me and I felt an involuntary cringe run through me. A white haze was pouring over my mind.

His arm stroked my stomach; I curled in to a ball.

His other arm slowly started to go lower; I started to cry.

_Lower and Lower…_

I felt Yukis body pressed up against mine. He was asleep. I could feel his body heat. I pushed him off me as gently as I could and walked in to the bathroom connected to his room. Things were laying on the counter haphazardly. A bottle of shaving cream.

A razor.

I picked it up and admired its odd shape. I pressed it up against my face and I could smell Yuki on it. Slowly I moved the razor away from my face. I made it catch the light and then I dragged it across my arm. The blade pierced my skin and a bubble of blood showed up over the wound. The bubble popped.

I left the bathroom and walked out of Yukis room. I grabbed the blanket off the floor and wrapped myself in it. I still had no clothes on. I collapsed on the ground. The blanket was barely covering me and I started to sob.

I banged my head on the hard wood floors and in a way I could feel my head clear. The tears would eventually stop. I returned to Yukis bed.

I had to keep going back to him, there was no other way.

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That was the prologue. I'm not sure if I should continue.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation

Sunlight poured in from the windows. I shielded my eyes and sat up in bed. Yuki was not in the bed and I could see the room had been straightened up. I pulled on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans and quietly crept into the hallway.

The smashed vase was already cleaned up. Everything was clean. On the counter was a vase filled with white roses. An envelope leaned up against it and I walked in almost a dreamlike glide across to pick it.

_Mr. Eiri Yuki kindly requests the presence of Mr. Shuichi Shindou at their special place. A table will be waiting at precisely 7 o'clock._

Yuki was obviously sober now and trying to repent for his actions. I knew this act all to well. The "special place" was a small diner that was hidden away behind all the fancy restaurants. It was quaint, but the food was excellent.

Only to me, It had stopped being so special.

Yuki had probably gone out for the day. I was not sure what to do with myself until I was to meet Yuki at the diner. I could never stand him up. I had to go. He needed me.

A knock on the door broke me out of my trance. I pushed open the door and Hiro was waiting. I could tell that he already knew what happened tonight. K was not at my door ready to pump me full of lead because Yuki had probably called and told Tohma to give me the day off. I had never told Hiro or for that matter anyone what went on, but I knew he already knew.

"Get dressed." Was all Hiro said. I nodded and walked into my bedroom leaving the door ajar as an invitation for him to come into Yukis apartment.

I pulled on a hoodie over my t-shirt and added a belt to my pants. They were riding dangerously low on my waist. It seemed like none of my clothes fit me very well anymore.

When I went into the sitting room Hiro was lounging on the couch.

"My motorcycle is in the shop, I figure we can just take the bus." Hiro said. He stood up and took my hand and guided me out of the house.

"Thanks, Hiro." I rasped. It felt like I had not used me voice in years.

Hiros face took a gentler look on it "No problem" he murmured and gave my hand a squeeze.

Luckily the bus came only minutes after we started waiting at the stop. We boarded and took two seats towards the middle of the bus. Two girls dressed in school uniforms sat in front of us. One of them kept tilting her head to look at Hiro and then her friend would elbow her and they would both giggle. I didn't really think about anything, I just kept my mind blank.

"Eiri Yuki" I heard those words stand out during one of the girl's sentences. I had no idea what else she said, but I felt a whimper rise up in my throat. I started to rock back and forth. I could, feel Yukis hands on my body, the hiss of his words, his hands pressing into me without invitation.

Hiro took my head and placed it up against his neck trying to comfort me. I writhed and pushed him away. By now I was sobbing. I clawed madly at myself, at anything that was near me. The bus pulled over. I banged my fists over and over again on the walls.

"Let me out, Let me out. No Yuki. YUKI PLEASE GOD NO" I could hear screaming. Was it me? Was the world collapsing around me? Hiro tried to subdue me, but I threw him off me and he hit the bus floor with a thump.

People were getting of the bus. I ripped at my hair and I could taste the blood in my mouth after biting down on my tongue.

"NO NO NO NO" I screamed. I could hear sirens. I could hear Yukis rich voice coaxing into his bed like I was a frightened animal. Hiro made one last grab at my wrist. I shrieked. I could feel Yuki. He was on the bus. His hands were going to far and his tongue was pushing into my mouth.

Two men boarded the bus. I could see an ambulance outside. "Come on, come with us. It will all be okay." One of them said and he slowly walked towards me.

"No, Don't touch me. I know what you want. Don't touch me. Please. NO!" I collapsed again and I heard one them yell "Now!" Suddenly they both grabbed me. One held my legs will the other held my arms behind me back. They were going to rape me, like Yuki did. They had Yukis face. Every one of them.

I kicked and I screamed, but I was forced on to the ambulance. Someone jabbed something into my arm and I felt myself fall into a lethargic state.

Someone with long brown hair leaned over me in the ambulance. "Hiro..?" He made no reply, but he held my hand even tighter. That's the last thing I remember before everything went black.

-Yukis P.O.V-

I slowly walked down the street contemplating what would happen tonight. I knew Shuichi would come to me in the end. He always did. However, I needed to tread carefully if I wanted him in my bed again tonight. He always resisted a bit.

A bus was haphazardly pulled over on the side of the road. People were milling around and staring. Someone was being carried out of the bus by two emergency workers. I immediately recognized the pink hair, but the expression was something I had never seen before. His eyes were wild and he was kicking and screaming. His words carried over the silent crowd.

"No Yuki, no yuki… STOP!"

He was placed in the ambulance, and the doors swung shut. I saw someone familiar in the ambulance.

Hiro gave me a cold hard look through the windows of the ambulance and then turned back to Shuichi. I saw him brush a tear away from his eye.

To be continued

Thank you to everyone who reviewed, It really made my day


	3. Chapter 3

Yukis POV

I was in the waiting room. They wouldn't give me any information about Shuichi because I wasn't immediate family, but I managed to find a fan of mine who was a nurse who was happy to spill the beans in exchange for my signature on a copy of my newest book.

"He regained consciousness for a little while and kept crying. Eventually they hooked him up to an i.v and gave him a sedative. Apparently something was wrong with him when he woke up, but I'm not sure what it was."

Wrong? What could be wrong with him? Nothing permanent I hoped and in my mind I knew that it was my fault. I pushed Shuichi to this. Someone ripped the magazine out from my hands that I had been pretending to be reading in order to keep people from talking to me. It was Hiro.

"Outside. Now." He said with a look of disgust. I followed him outside and he turned to face me when we were significantly far away from the hospital.

"He doesn't remember you." Hiro said bluntly.

Doesn't remember me? How can that be? Dear god, why are you doing this to me.

"How can he not remember me, what about Bad Luck? Does he remember that?" I asked trying to keep my voice steady.

"His memory stops a little bit before the creation of Bad Luck. He doesn't remember anything that transpired between you two or even the fact that he's a pop star."

"What's going to happen when he leaves the hospital?"

"Nothing involving you that's for certain." Hiro spat. He then took a step forward and slapped me across the face and walked briskly back to the hospital.

Two Months Later

I sat in a quaint café working on my latest novel. After spending a month barely leaving my apartment, my editor had convinced me to go back to writing and told me maybe I should try going out once and a while too, even if it was just too write. Shuichi had gone completely under the radar. I had tried calling his cell phone, but the number had been disconnected. I tried calling Hiro as well, but he wouldn't pick up the phone.

I still spoke with Tohma from time to time. He would usually attempt to comfort me and he even said to me "Shuichi loved you and you loved him, but its over now and he would want you to move on, but never forget him."

Of course then he did something ridiculous such as try and put this hands down my pants.

So I threw myself back into my work. I hadn't been with anyone since the last fateful time Shuichi and I had sex. I had published two books that were somewhat based on my relationship with Shuichi. Of course in the books however, they ended up together. I thought of him constantly.

So when I looked up and saw my pink haired lover sitting three tables down from me it was needless to say that I saw speechless.

He was sitting there in a black button down shirt and a pair of nice jeans. His hair was long now and pulled into a ponytail like when we first met. The sunlight bounced off his hair and it was a picture I would never forget. He was hunched over a sketchpad and I realized that the novel he had on the table was my most recently published one that was entitled "Another Name For Love."

I took off my sunglasses and took a deep breathe. I walked over to the table and sat down across from him. He looked up from his sketchpad. Dear god, he was so beautiful. My memory didn't do him justice. I had forgotten how he bit his lip when he was confused and how no matter how many times he tucked his bangs behind his ears, a few strands always escaped and he would try and blow them out of his face.

"Are you Eiri Yuki?" he asked in that innocent voice that had haunted my dreams for the past two months.

I nodded and he let out a squeal. "I LOVE your books! I can't believe I'ma ctually meeting you, Eiri! I mean, Yuki-san. Sorry, I don't really have the right to call you by your first name, I mean we just met and your famous and-" he rambled on. His face was flushed and I wanted more then anything then to lean acrossthe table and claim his lips for my own, but I couldn't. I no longer had the right.

"It's alright, You can call me Eiri. So what are you drawing?" I asked trying to make casual conversation. It killed me inside that he obviously didn't remember our past, but even just his presence intoxicated me.

"Well" he said as his cheeks flushed "It's actually a scene from your latest book." He said and indicated the novel sitting on the table. The sketch was from one of the main scenes in the novel. The protagonist was watching the rain from his window when he sees the reflection of his lover and when he turns around they kiss for the first time. His drawing was… breathtaking. He had captured the sadness on the face of the man and the smile of his lover when he comes to proclaim his love. The smile that said that he would love him for his faults and for everything he would ever be. The smile that Shuichi once gave me all those months ago.

"It's beautiful." Was all I could manage to say. The picture had me overcome with emotion.

"I have more in my apartment, would you like to see them?" he asked me and I smiled and nodded. "Hiro for some reason doesn't like your work very much, and in fact I'm not even allowed outside, but he's gone for the day and I snuck out." Shuichi said.

He was staying with Hiro? Why? I would have thought he would be with his parents.

"So, why aren't you allowed out?" I asked trying to be neutral.

"I was in an accident a few months ago and Hiro still thinks I can't be on my own. I have to hide your books and the only time I can go out it when I'm with him." Shuichi replied as he gathered up his colored pencils.

He walked out the door as he chattered away about random things, I was in heaven hearing his voice again after only hearing it in recordings of his songs.

And when we reached the crosswalk and he slipped his small warm hand into mine, I thought that I could die at that very moment and have no regrets.

And at that blissful moment I had no idea how close to dying that I would become in the near future.


End file.
